Don't make your Car into a Bear Lunchbox! (and other bear safety rules)

Curry Village, Yosemite NP,  July 1998, around 1am. 
I left 4 snoring children in the van, and drug myself into registration to get our "tent" keys.   My exhausted mind heard the conversation go something like this: 
"blah blah blah... bathrooms.. .blah blah.. check out time... blah blah.. permit.... blah.. and make sure every scrap of food is out of your vehicle before you park it."


Wait!  Wait a minute!  They didn't understand!   Had to be some mistake!
I had been driving for about 8 hours that day, over the Oakland Bay Bridge and up through the mountain pass, to reach the Park.  I was in the 4th week, and the 4000th mile, of our annual summer roadtrip, and I was the sole driver.  The sole adult, as a matter of fact. 
So, you do the math: 
4 boys, age 12 and under, eating out of a cooler and playing candy poker across the breadth of our country, for 4 weeks.  
Despite regular cleaning sessions, can you imagine the floor of our van?    From chocolate kiss wrappers to balled-up hamburger papers, a stray french fry and an empty gatorade bottle... .


I squinted my eyes and said to the ranger, "Huh?" 


His instructions were crystal clear, though, and not negotiable.  For a second, I admit I thought-- "yeah, right" --  but as i turned around to exit the office, I saw the above photo, and this sign:

                  DON'T LET YOUR CAR BE A BEAR LUNCHBOX!

I obediently went back to the van and spent a good hour, collecting garbage, covering grocery bags with blankets, and scraping melted jolly ranchers off the dashboard.

#1: Don't make your car into a Bear Lunchbox!


#2:  Here are some basic rules of the road:

• Don't eat twinkies in your tent before you fall asleep.  Bears want your food, but you might be in the way.
• Would you want a bear to come close to YOUR cub?  Then don't go up close to a bear's kids.
• Don't take away food that a bear has seized.   Once he has your food bag, wave goodbye to it!
• Never cook or store food (even toothpaste and wine) in or near your tent.  A FED BEAR IS A DEAD BEAR!  and besides... improper food storage in a National Park is a federal crime!
• Leave your dog at home.
• Remember that bears are most active at dawn and dusk.  Be aware and try to stay in a group. 
• If you see a bear, pick up small children in your arms. 
• Bears think you're threatening if you stare them down.   Don't do that. 
• Pepper spray-- it's not for novices. If you haven't been trained to use it, leave it in the store!
• And seriously.. Running away is ALWAYS the worst idea.  

#3:  Hire a Guide!
A wonderful outfit is Alaska Bear Adventures!
They make the same spectacular flight out of Homer, over the glaciers and wilderness, and into Katmai Park, to see the bears.
But instead of heading to Brooks Falls (which hosts as many as 500 guests/day at the peak of season), consider Alaska Bear Adventures!


They take you out to Hallo Bay where there are no platforms, no bathrooms, and no ranger stations ... just you and the bears!